In recent weeks I’ve been with my daughter’s group of teen friends, launching a new Root Matters programme called The Basics for Teens (details below). This is a 3 x 5-hour session programme to start equipping teens to become more domesticated and independent in the home.

I have discovered that many students (local and international) living in Hong Kong, Macau and China, are in a first-world environment. What do I mean by this? Many of the day-to-day home and domestic work, and the cooking are done for children these days, be it by parents, grandparents or helpers. I’m not saying every household is like this, but many are not required to help at home with basic upkeep or jobs around the house or apartment, instead everything is done for them. And often this is not really anyone’s fault, just that life is set up this way and it’s normally more efficient and easier for everyone. But before you know it, children are becoming teens, and then they will be leaving home for further studies, or to start a new job. It is at this time when living alone, with room mates, or looking after themselves will become a big shock to the system if they have no clue how to do so. So not only increased stress living in a new environment, with new studies, or a new job, and having to make new friends etc, but more added stress to cope with looking after themselves in their own space. Thinking about this might just be a tad unnerving for some parents, and they might want to start equipping their children with the right tools and skills to practice how to look after themselves now.

My daughter Lauren, who is 14 years old now, has been taught the basics of making her bed, to change bedding, to try and keep her room and bathroom presentable and clean, to learn some basic cooking skills, tidy up her clothes, wash up etc, but she would only be required to help occasionally with some of these jobs, or when she has to or have time. I am quickly realising that in order to help her, I need to instill some regular responsibilities for her to manage and handle. Practice will make it easier, so hopefully in a few years time she will be more competent and confident in taking on the big wide world.

“ I am quickly realising that in order to help her, I need to instill some regular responsibilities for her to manage and handle. ”

During this COVID 19 year, we are all spending more time at home. A friend asked me what Lauren was doing over the summer holidays, and I told her about my plan to domesticate her more, she was quickly interested for her daughter to join and subsequently other mums too! It turns out a few mums have the same sentiments, and so that’s the reason this course was birthed. The fun part was that Lauren was able to learn and do these things with all her good friends, so they not only learnt more, but were able to bond deeper in their friendships.

In the last month, I got to know five more beautiful young ladies that show great potential in the home and kitchen. Lauren was so happy her friends could join her in this programme, and it was great for me to understand young teens of this era more, what makes them tick and what doesn’t. When we got to the ironing section, it was quite funny, as the girls told me they do not need to iron anything as they will only buy clothes that don’t need ironing, or they will just wear t-shirts and shorts – forever. They were trying to convince me their school uniform was never ironed, but would be magically ready to wear when they needed to wear it! This is a big change from my growing up days where we ironed absolutely everything, including socks.

We covered many topics including, but not limiting to: how to read food labels, wash and handle food produce, learning to use basic kitchen equipment, chopping and knife skills, pantry staples and food types, setting up a table, table etiquette, washing up and draining dishes, how to clean and dust the apartment, making our own safe, environmental and sustainable natural cleaning products, understanding the sustainability of using less plastics, how to change bed linen, use the washing machine, vacuuming, mopping, ironing, personal hygiene, what safe beauty products to use; how to improve the air in your environment with plants, air purifiers and diffusers etc. We also talked about diet, nutrition, menstruation, puberty and how food can help or hinder, as well as endocrine disruptors.

In each session, we made simple breakfast, brunch and / or lunch dishes, as well as nut butters (their great love for peanut butter was expressed by adorning it with everything and anything edible, so much so we had to make a second large batch mid-course)! It was good for the girls to understand just how easy it was to make, simply by using organic peanuts, and adding other natural ingredients of their choice to flavour it. We also made smoothies and smoothie bowls to try, learned about the different plant milks and superfoods that can be used to immediately increase the nutrients of the drink or bowl. Quite a lot of emphasis was made on whole foods and how we can nourish our bodies by upgrading our ingredients with real foods. And this meant they could still enjoy the foods they liked, but substituting with nutrient-dense ingredients to bring goodness to the body, rather than just processed or sugar-laden ingredients that are just filled with empty calories. The girls collaborated in making foods from scratch, so they got to see what the food products looked like whole and how to clean and prepare them for cooking or preparing for a dish. They sharpened their chopping and use of kitchen equipment skills, they made pasta sauce and pizzas from scratch, learnt how to cook pasta al dente, and cooked different types of egg dishes such as omelettes, 6-minute eggs and Frittata. They made garlic butter to bake garlic bread, learnt how to mix fresh and dried seasoning for chicken wings and meat. We focused on different vegetables, but broccoli was definitely their favourite, so need to work on introducing more vegetable variety in their diet. They were not too keen on salads, unless the dressing was creamy – so would be good to introduce healthier creamy dressings next time. For desserts we focused on healthier versions of Mango FROYO, and Cacao “Nice” Cream using whole fruits to make and sweeten, and topping with natural ingredients like chopped toasted nuts, coconut shreds or cacao nibs or powder.

We had a lot of fun over the last few weeks, from holding a knife quite precariously at the beginning to becoming more confident and bold with practice. It also brought awareness and new skills to areas that they might not have considered until they became adults. I personally have learnt a lot in this programme, and will up my efforts to ask Lauren to take on more in the house, and I have asked the mums to give the girls more opportunities to participate and encourage them to practice these things at home too. I know they will not be particularly enthusiastic about this, who would be when everything is done for them right? But trust me, it’s good to give them something to be responsible for, after all we can’t say we love doing chores, but trust that they will be thankful for your training in the years to come. It's all work in progress, and as caregivers and parents, we will need to have an extra dose of patience, and definitely to not expect perfection. Practice, endurance and encouragement will help them in the long run, and eventually build confidence and self-esteem.

This programme has taught me that we need to start somewhere, and it doesn’t matter where, from young helpers to teens, just give them opportunities to help, instilling this value is already a great start. Parents, caregivers, teachers, any adult who has authority over children need to provide opportunities for our children at appropriate ages to contribute and help with what they are capable of, and really do not do everything for them, although I know it can be much more efficient and definitely less headaches at times! We need to train, help and equip our next generation, so when they get out of the comfort of their homes, they will thrive and succeed in their new domains as young confident adults. I don’t know about you, but I am getting separation anxiety already.

How Are You Equipping Your Teen For The Future?

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